I know I joke about motivation, and its easy for someone to turn to me and say 'just do it', but it is a real barrier for me. Right now I have the best motivation I can think of, which is salford university, and I still can't get my head down. Not only that, but almost everyone else on the course seems to be getting along fine with things, the odd one or two complain about the amount of work, but they'll also say "I'm going to get this and that done tonight", and they'll actually do it!
Maybe I'm taking too many things for granted. I do have difficult conditions in terms of this social worker and adoption nonesense (if you don't knkow, its a rather long story) as a result of which they have cut me a bit of slack (about +1 week on deadlines.) I think I might just have to stop in some nights and get it done, or not go out to wigan for lunch, and such. I have B.yoU mondays and thursdays but there is no way I am missing this years performance, lead role, most of the story is my own work and its already got some expectant followers, not to mention I have it on my UCAS application already (and I havn't lied anywhere else on it!)
Thats it, I have had enough of feeling like a dick head over my own short comings. I'm not academic, but unlike my brothers and close friends I'm not going to let that barrier stop me. In fact, I don't think there is such a thing as 'not academic', I can do the work and thats all I need to be academic! I care too much about my future to let this oppertunity for a career to slip me by, theres too much at stake to let it fall through my fingers.
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