Back to school.

That time has rolled up once again, my second year of University starts later this month, and I cannot wait! The downs not withstanding from last years first year, the ups are something I am certainly looking forward to repeating.

Lets see if I can enumerate the Ups and Downs for your clarifical delights...

Ups

• Meeting some great people and making a heap of new friends
• Giving stand-up comedy a go
• Moving out and finding my feet (sort of)
• Learning a load of neat things such as the ins and outs of camera work, media analysis and voice
• Trying a load of neat things, such as video production, mask work and clowning
• Getting involved with Comedy Sportz Manchester
• Becoming a cheer leader
• Being involved with Beyond the Front Line
• Finding my bliss
• Being financially 'better off'
• Living in Manchester
• Losing weight and becoming fitter/healthier...

There are a lot there but actually I feel the list is too short, its missing something, it is incomplete or otherwise without. I suppose its the feeling of being a student, and everything that word entails whether that be fighting the stereotype of the student or embracing the lifestyle it engenders. There were downs though, I am not trying to rose tint your picture here as there certainly were things which took the shine from an otherwise perfect experience...

Downs

• Sharing a house with eleven people, most of whom horrible, horrible people
• Being, or having the feeling of being overlooked, or 'passed over'
• Getting passes in everything, when I am capable of so much more (and in some cases feel I did so much more)
• Not trying as hard as I know I could have
• Missing classes due to the lecturer being absent, and not per suing the matter for reimbursement
• Not making an effort to with people who could be closer friends than they are now...

I admit, that last one is something that I think we all suffer from, I certainly don't just regret it from Uni but from most situations I find myself. We all wear masks you see, I sometimes need to lower my barriers and just simply be with people as I am, and not try to impress people or be overtly polite to avoid offending them. Or act as naive as I do, because I know that is something I do a lot. I generally do believe there is a silver lining to every cloud, and in trying my hardest to be positive I am serving my friends and colleagues to the best of my ability but I regret that in some instances people want more than that.

In retrospect, its actually the people I spoke to in earnest that I consider closer than other in my year. Its the people I let my guard down to, even slightly, and shared my frustration with. It was that communal frustration, that agreement of nuances that brought us together and actually if it weren't for the fact that I am such a dowdy spinster and have some intimacy and trust issues I would probably be sharing a house now with some of them, lounging on the couch eating ice cream in the lap of a friend while we watch a zombie film or have some chill out music on.

I think I will aim for that this year. I have already made a list of the things I want to accomplish, and while I will append this to the end of it I won't go and add it to my original list, as the thought process is as important as the decision. I have said many times to many people, I often prefer the journey to the destination.