The dilemma

Thinking on, I suppose it did seem a little too good to be true to expect everything will fix itself when I go to university, but I am approaching a crossroads, and its one of those big decisions that I have been confronted with before.

Alright, lets put it to the panel. You have done a year on an Access to Higher Education diploma in psychology, the year was very hard for financial and social reasons, but in looking back, it was challenging and you made some life long friends. During your time on access you realised where your bliss was, and while psychology was engaging and academic (which at that point you had gotten quite into,) you couldn't imagine a life with psychology defining your work and your person. So you decided to take a chance there and then on your bliss, and were successfully accepted onto a HND (Higher National Diploma) in Media and Performance at the University of Salford. This works out well for you, as the course is only two years, and therefore considered pre-degree level, meaning that you can move onto a degree level course in Performing Arts or any of those subjects at the second year, and leave university with two qualifications.

However, shortly into your study you find out that you are only supported at university financially for four years of study, which means that while your original plan to study for four years in performance and walk from uni with two qualifications in the subject, you would not be able to finish your HND in Media and Performance, then go on to do a Psychology degree. Knowing that the world of performance does not rely on qualifications, but skill and charisma, you thought that it would be safer to get one HE (Higher Education) qualification in Media and Performance, then get a Psychology degree which is more likely to get you a higher waged full-time job (If you've been able to follow me by now you need a fucking medal.)

Now onto the dilemma: After this year is through, you have three years left of funded study, this means that you stand at the crossroads and have no choice but to chose one or the other. You either go for safety, which involved abandoning the HND in Media Performance (with the education you have gained in the first year,) and start your Psychology degree. Or you carry on, complete your HND, start your degree from the second year and carry that on, leaving university with a degree and HND in performance subjects.

On one hand, I see the validity in having regular full time work, and I should mention my ultimate goal is to make it as a stand-up comedian. Most people would say that this is a stupid goal, that only very few comedians in this country can rely soully on stand-p as their income, but obviously I would be subsidising whatever I couldn't make from stand-up with another job (either in performance or not.) The difference is that second job! There are plenty of examples where professional stand-up comedians have made a decent living and even made it big, while working on something totally unrelated to performance and with no performance qualifications (take Jo Brand for example, the subject of a recent review.) What I'm getting at is, I could do comedy just by hitting up the circuit in Manchester (which is fantastic) and develop my act there while getting the experience I need, the qualification I get from university is more designed to give me an edge in the world of full time work to subsidise my living while I work on my comedy, if I took the degree in Performing Arts I would realistically be at a disadvantage work-wise than I would if I was to use a Psychology degree to get work on the public sector (schools, NHS, the council etc.) At the same time, I do not want to be trapped in a job which inhibits my performance in stand-up. I am more likely to hit a road block in stand-up if my work hours are fixed and not convenient for travel at night, to evening gigs. That isn't to say that this wouldn't happen if I took wor in theatre or other Performance subjects... see, I don't know what I'm talking about now, AAGH! This is doing my friggin' nut in!

Sorry, I went a bit too northern there. The more I think about the decision I need to make, the more frustrated I become. I have until the end of the year to make a decision, and either way, I do not consider this year or any of my time spent at university to be a waste, because I have made wonderful friends, and had wonderful experiences, and I'm only a few months into the course! Please, I need people to respond to this and give me their thoughts, even if its totally unrelated, I just need to know what you think (normally I wouldn't, I mean its nice to hear from you, but I'm not the sort who counts how many hits I've had and lives for positive feedback, this blog is just a thinking pot for me, and a good way to update my friends on what I think.)

If nothing else then answer me this: Given this situation, what would you do?