Dear Somebody.

Get over yourself please.

Everyone has their problems, can you please stop adding you to my list? You see I'm there for my friends whenever they need me, but you have to get to the point where I can generally stand being around you first.

Oh, I'm sorry, that was stupid of me. Of course you don't understand why you are so irreparably annoying, and are therefore effecting my cognition by sharing my space )not even my personal space, just the general vicinity is enough to slow me down to single core processing.) Allow me to make a short list of things which annoy me that you probably can't help, then I'll cover the things you do conciously which make you a total phalus.

• You talk in one tone, all the time (and then complain about other people who do it)
• Your laugh

Short list right? So you think that you don't do many things that are annoying right? Wrong. Most of the shit that you do that is annoying you could actually not do if you so choose, which you clearly do not and I therefore feel totally justified in hating you for them.

You can't have a conversation without bringing in one of your many 'problems.' You list them like medals, all these mental illnesses you apparantly suffer from but show no actual signs of them (which is ironic, considering you apparantly studied psychology at some people and even with a meager college level education and some basic acting skills you could fake having such illnesses. Let me tell you, I will not name any one of the catalog of mental problems you profess to have or have been diagnosed with, but you would not be able to function at a level which you supposedly do if you did have a number of the things you mentioned. In fact given your apparent situation, I would argue that you would be dead by now, so its a shame these things aren't true, yes?

Wow that was harsh, I guess I feel more vicious bile for you than I thought. I think its because of how smug and condescending you are to people, how even through your massive amounts of attention seeking, you still think you operate on a level which is above other people. How you think that because you know long words you are somehow middle class. You are nothing, you have done nothing, you know nothing of sacrifice or hard work or commitment or perseverance. You know nothing of the illnesses you claim to have or the people who genuinely suffer from them. You have been offered opportunities on a plate and you turned your nose up, you don't even deserve to work, you just think people automatically owe you something.

Oh thats another thing, trying to claim benefits because you are apparently SO unfit for work, but the system is proving harder to screw than you originally thought right? Good for the system.

Christ you annoy me.

How dare you annoy me so much so that I need to blog to vent my frustration from just being near you.

Of course, I blog because despite how blunt and forward thinking I have become thanks to my studies, I am still too much of a nice person to say this to your face and risk upsetting you (and believe me, I wouldn't stop until you actually did attempt suicide.) And of course I don't mean you harm, well maybe a little actually, I want you to actually feel what its like to go through what you say you go through. I want to see if you'd still like attention after you have been to the very darkest place a person can go, and come out the other side. You wouldn't make it, you would die. I want you to go to the brink so that you can realise exactly how much it is that you have to be thankful for and how selfish and pig headed you are for vying for peoples sympathy to suit your vein attention seeking needs.

Good people have died this year, how dare you try and claim your life is so terrible when your don't even know what suffering is.

And stop laughing at your own jokes, or I will end you.